SIMPLY ELABORATE blog

Posts Tagged ‘new job’

I have felt as though my life has been in limbo for the past few months. I’ve called them “the prospecting months” as I’ve spent countless hours prospecting people, places, marketing agencies, advertising opportunities, events, networking, dates and places to live.

This weekend was jam packed of relaxing work – which sounds more oxymoron than it really is. I’m grabbing more control on my routine and lifestyle and getting into a groove – most days. I’ve been thinking about my life and future so much (even though I know I should only be thinking of the present) and I can’t believe it’s been almost four months since I left Calgary. It blows my mind how much my life has changed since driving east on Highway 1 (16th Ave) and not looking back on October 13th 2009.

After how much everyone’s life has changed since I left, I realize that my life may have been easier if I stayed in Calgary, but I would be internally torn inside with a lot of things in my life and the thought of moving back to Toronto would have become a bigger choice than it was when I left.

It may sound confusing, and truthfully, it is. But I’m still excited. I’m excited for a lot of things because every day, I think while driving home for work and categorically go down a list of all the things I’ve learned that day. That technique in itself was worth the move, the big break up, the separation of the things, the wear and tear on my car, the missing of my friends – everything. Because when I drove home or took the bus from my position in Calgary, I didn’t do that. I didn’t do anything even close to that. I was at a standstill, constantly looking at the bottom corner of my computer screen praying the time to fast forward to 4:30 pm. Every day.

For the first time in my life I’m working hard every single day because I have to. There is no room for slacking in this position because if I slack, I don’t get the feeling of a closing sale; I don’t get the internally proud feeling of accomplishment; I don’t get the satisfaction of knowing that I learned a new way to strengthen a bond or relationship.

I’m doing that, every single day. And because of that, I know that in ten years, when I look back on my 25th year, the year that I moved back from Calgary to begin a new chapter of my life – I’ll remember how I took charge of my life, refused the 9 – 5 job routine, took a beating, took a pay cut, took a new look at the word “humbled” and learned every single day.

That – I believe – is the most important thing.

This year will be a year that challenges more than my determination, dedication and persistence. It will be one that challenges my guts, guise and belief in myself. Personally, I think that’s more of a challenge than anything else but one that I’m entirely up for – mostly because I don’t have much choice.

Once January 4th hit, I was back on the work front. Controlling all aspects of my life I believe I can control – I’m on my way to figuring out the things in life that I can’t and will never be able to.
I’ll get there, completely, though. One day. And this year, will definitely be interesting. One for the books. Just watch.

It’s always tough, realizing that so much time has gone by and you’re nearing the end of an important time in your life – to look back and see that you’ve basically accomplished close to nothing on your big “to-do” during the time until the impending deadline of said to-do list.

I like to look back on the things I’d set to accomplish before my journey started. Usually, I have a to-do list I try and follow to keep me on track but have recently come to realize that sometimes, you just can’t plan everything. Life usually gets in the way. This to-do list I’ve often dictated out probably has about two things checked off and a lot of hopes and new additions. But I can always guarantee that I learn something, as life happens, and I learn from it.

Sometimes I like to revel in how young I am, and then promptly get scared at how fast the time flies and pretty soon it’ll already be time for my 26th birthday. It scares me just thinking about it and I’ve got ten months to go. See? Ten months! That’s already scary because just I felt it was just yesterday that I got a beautiful eight-diamond necklace from my boyfriend in front of my closest friends in Calgary at dinner for my birthday.

It’s been less than two months and already so much has changed at this point. Now I’m lying in my twentieth different bed I’ve been in over the last few weeks realizing I’ve created a habit of playing with the dangling pendant and wondering when and if I’ll ever choose to take it off.

Earlier this evening I opened my notebook and saw the to-do list I’d written on my first flight out of Toronto in October. Even though as I look at it now, not much is checked off, but I’ve done a lot. I didn’t have as much free time as I thought I would because somehow along all the hustle and bustle I realized that life got in the way of my hard-set plans, as it usually does, and I was forced to re-organize.

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t learn anything on this trip, and I’d be lying if I said some parts haven’t been disappointing. My eyes and ears are open to taking the new experiences in while challenging my pre conditioned notions about business life and meeting people and working with strangers who quickly become family when you all meet together so far from regular lives.

I’m not entirely surprised at where I sit right now, alone in a hotel room, writing to myself instead of sending my usual end of the day messages to my person; but I’m a bit surprised it happened so quickly. There is that saying again, however – life happens. And you can’t change things because they don’t fit into your plans. I guess you just learn to deal with them and figure things out as you go along.

I was home, not settled, for about 72 hours and during that 72 hours my car got beaten up while quietly parked and minding its own business on a residential street, I was thrown a surprise birthday, graduation, welcome come and congratulations on the new job party and fought with my mom only five times. Now I’m sitting here, in seat 12F flying above the clouds and patiently waiting to arrive in Dallas, Texas.

Realizing I forgot my camera charger, I’m praying my camera lasts the full four weeks I’ll be gone because I don’t really want to rely on my phone which has been renamed “the money pit” during my five weeks of being gone. I’m also hoping that I’ll somehow find the time to do all the things I intend to do – one being actually read at least three of the seven books I brought with me; three of which are already started (I have ADD when it comes to books).

Also on the goal list: find somewhere/something interesting to see in each city; visit the hotel gym multiple times during the week (I’m hoping I’ll get bored enough to just go!); get through my “learn Italian version 3.0” self-taught exams I brought; swim in these fabulous hotel pools; bit & bite something everywhere.

Sometimes I think I put too much on my place or ask myself to do more than I’ll be able to accomplish during the time – but on the other hand – I love a busy life!!

Wish me luck ….

I’m in Calgary. I don’t feel like I’m in Calgary – but I am. I’m officially a “Mountainer” complete with my own time zone and such. It’s good, great. And yes, while it is cold, it seems to be manageable.

I found it funny that I haven’t been here more than 48 hours but I’ve already purchased my Christmas trip home ticket. Funny – but it needs to be done, as the flights sell out quickly.

I’m really excited to start work tomorrow – and I’m even more excited to get December over with, as it’ll be extremely hectic. I’m moving three more times before I settle into my fabulous apartment. So I’ll probably be tired all the time. It’s manageable, I think. Just a lot of moving around.

I’ve been looking into freelance writing opportunities via this old website I bookmarked and it was really exciting even looking at the possibilities – because a lot of them look promising. So many ideas are floating in my head, and have been, for a long time – I feel as though it’s about time I start getting them down on paper. I think I’m already planning my new year’s resolutions in a way. I’m committed at this new job for a year, at least. After that, I’m back to decision making, essentially – depending on whether or not I want to stay in Calgary or not – or try Toronto one more time. For now, I’m definitely happy with the decision I’ve made – and I’m not looking into the future too much – which was always my problem. My goals that I’m working on are all going to be about my career – this is the time I need to focus on it. This is what I came out here to do. An empty apartment and a full time job are just the things to help me with it as well. I’m so excited because I know I can do it. I’m picturing myself in my new place, typing away – researching away and most importantly – writing. I don’t need to promise I’m going to write more in jadingheart because I just have this feeling I won’t need to – I’ll be writing all the time.

There’s always something about a new place, an unfamiliar place, that has me writing all the time. It poses all these questions, all these wonderments, that I just can’t help it. I think that’s why I’ve finally figured out why my first year of university was full of excellent posts and intriguing questions (I think!) – because I was eager. So eager to do anything that afterwards, I kind of got a bit bored – and that wasn’t good.

This is me, not being bored. Doing something. Being someone. And figuring out what it all means in the process.

I live in Calgary now. Forever? Who knows. But maybe is definitely a possibility.