SIMPLY ELABORATE blog

Archive for the ‘vents’ Category

I’m so scared right now.

As I’m lying in bed doing nothing but nursing my cold, I’m watching all these daytime talk shows and getting these increasingly annoying political advertisements flooding the commercial breaks. Why are they annoying? Because I’m scared for what’s going to happen next week. The Conservatives are going to win, or at least, it’s sliding in that direction and it’s freaking the hell out of me.

Next Monday, if the Conservatives win, we will become America II – officially. If all of North America ends up with a Conservative government, a Republican government – we’re screwed – the whole world is.

I just want to yell at everyone who doesn’t want to vote or doesn’t care because the impact and severity of why it’s important is not getting through. I understand that the Liberals were stupid in getting themselves involved in the sponsorship scandal and all that and all their supposed lies about their hidden agendas. My response? I’m sick about every year around this time, don’t know why, but I am. I also was sick for about four weeks during the summer. I’m not the only person in Canada that gets sick regularly or with something more serious. The point is, I sat in walk-in clinics, hospital emergency rooms and school doctor offices throughout all that and more. And did I have to pay a penny for it? NO! And it should be that reason and that reason alone that we keep this damned government in place. They are not perfect, no, but this government is behind the reason that Canada is the multicultural society that it is. They are behind the reason we are not the ones getting bombed by “terrorists” all the time.

The Conservative election campaign commercials are right, you choose to “change Canada” and you will – into another America. And we can’t let that happen. We must not let that happen.

So please vote. And for anything other than Conservative. Because whatever “secret agenda” the Liberals are being accused with, won’t be anywhere near as shitty as what we’ll turn into with the Conservatives in power.

It’s around that time of year when I feel that too many people are reading this website, yet no one really reads it at all. When they read what I write and think they know everything about my life without actually taking the time to ask me about it and coming to conclusions that are false and completely irrational to begin with.

i.e. DAD.

I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Heck, I’ve even got it permanately placed on the sidebar for cheese and rice sakes – if you want to read my website, DON’T BITCH.

I should have just kept it anonymous all those years ago.

I’m seriously looking into blocking IP addresses. Anyone know how to do that?

The week is finally over. And what a week it was. I can’t help but wonder if the whole summer is going to fly by this quickly, because it sure seems so as of now. In other news, the more I work, the less I spend money. However, I find myself sleeping less and less as I become more tired because my need for socialization is a great priority for me lately.

I think it’s because now that I’ve decided to go back to Windsor, I want to make the most of my “city/home living” because I won’t be near it for so long. But what I really feel that I need to do is concentrate on what I know I need, not merely on what I feel. The trouble with that is that I have no idea what that is, which makes it incredibly hard to do things easily.

I have a pile of things to do, but I can’t do them because once I get home from work, all I want to do is make sure that I know that I can still socialize with my friends and have a life because I’m working so much that I’m unsure if it’s true.

But it is. With some friends getting upset with me for lack of communication and others I talk to like 500 times a day. With family that I jokingly fight and carpool with every day. With confusion on the romantic aspect of my life.

Together it all comes together and somehow, I’m managing. So far.

I feel like crying. But I’ve got no tears.
I feel like writing. But I’ve got no thoughts.
I feel like screaming. But I’ve got no voice.
I feel like talking. But I’ve got no one to talk to.
I feel like sitting in silence. But I feel restless.
I feel like explaining. But I can’t.

There are just too many excuses that my feelings seem irrelevant.

I’ve had such a horrible day. I honestly felt horrible today, like I really felt like crying at every new bad thing that happened. But I don’t want to write about it here because it’s over and done with and I don’t want to concentrate on it anymore (wow, that’s something new).

But what made me feel better is the feeling of really hot water surrounding my body while I was in the bath once I had finally gotten home. I had the CD I made for my trip home from Windsor playing in the background and was reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

I settled in for my evening alone and enjoyed the peace. I felt much better but something was still missing. R called to tell me about the plans for meeting O at the airport tomorrow and that made me smile and remember that she’s finally coming home. Then L called me to make sure I was okay because I called her in a bit of a panic this afternoon, so we talked for a bit. Then E called and made my night because I’ve missed him so and he’s finally back from Amsterdam so we chatted for a while. Then I finally got to finish my movie, Elf. It’s funny, I enjoyed it. Then S called from work and we talked for a bit and proceeded to make plans for coffee when he was finished. So we did.

With the lack of sleep and annoyances I’ve had over the past week, it’s been hard for me to really appreciate being home. But as I sat across from S at Tim Horton’s tonight (or I should say this morning) I realized that I really do love being here. No matter how busy the highways are during rush hour. Or how inconsiderate people are when turning a corner and splash you with gross, slushy, melting snow while they spin their tires.

The whole evening completely contradicted the whole day, which was awesome. And with all this chatting, I really didn’t feel like I stayed home alone at all. But it was nice. Little dosages of most of my friends combined with an evening at home was the perfect way to end my horrible day. And it made me realize how much power a friendship can actually have. Because without it, I would have spent the evening being pissed off about my day instead of laughing about with my friends.