SIMPLY ELABORATE blog

Archive for the ‘just quickly’ Category

I have felt as though my life has been in limbo for the past few months. I’ve called them “the prospecting months” as I’ve spent countless hours prospecting people, places, marketing agencies, advertising opportunities, events, networking, dates and places to live.

This weekend was jam packed of relaxing work – which sounds more oxymoron than it really is. I’m grabbing more control on my routine and lifestyle and getting into a groove – most days. I’ve been thinking about my life and future so much (even though I know I should only be thinking of the present) and I can’t believe it’s been almost four months since I left Calgary. It blows my mind how much my life has changed since driving east on Highway 1 (16th Ave) and not looking back on October 13th 2009.

After how much everyone’s life has changed since I left, I realize that my life may have been easier if I stayed in Calgary, but I would be internally torn inside with a lot of things in my life and the thought of moving back to Toronto would have become a bigger choice than it was when I left.

It may sound confusing, and truthfully, it is. But I’m still excited. I’m excited for a lot of things because every day, I think while driving home for work and categorically go down a list of all the things I’ve learned that day. That technique in itself was worth the move, the big break up, the separation of the things, the wear and tear on my car, the missing of my friends – everything. Because when I drove home or took the bus from my position in Calgary, I didn’t do that. I didn’t do anything even close to that. I was at a standstill, constantly looking at the bottom corner of my computer screen praying the time to fast forward to 4:30 pm. Every day.

For the first time in my life I’m working hard every single day because I have to. There is no room for slacking in this position because if I slack, I don’t get the feeling of a closing sale; I don’t get the internally proud feeling of accomplishment; I don’t get the satisfaction of knowing that I learned a new way to strengthen a bond or relationship.

I’m doing that, every single day. And because of that, I know that in ten years, when I look back on my 25th year, the year that I moved back from Calgary to begin a new chapter of my life – I’ll remember how I took charge of my life, refused the 9 – 5 job routine, took a beating, took a pay cut, took a new look at the word “humbled” and learned every single day.

That – I believe – is the most important thing.

Sitting with some Broken Social Scene as background music, trying to figure out what item to proceed with off my to-do list first and I’m sitting in my office like it’s the middle of the night instead of the middle of the day.

There’s one difference, however. I do considerably less work during the day than what I accomplish at night. And then I sit and wonder why that is. How can that be, actually? Shouldn’t you want to pound the items off that To-Do list so that tonight, when you have a billion fun things to do, you aren’t pondering what you’re not accomplishing? Most people would. Not me.

No, what I do is watch movie trailers being released in a not-so distant future. Case in point: The Good Guy a trailer I’ve watched three times because I loved the background music. And it’s prompted me to listen to BSS while I “work”.

Sometimes you just need a little inspiration.

Every morning, my alarm’s been going off at 5:45, sometimes even 5:40, depending on what class at the gym I don’t want to be late for starts. It’s a pretty brutal process for the first two minutes. The dreaded “how can it be time to get up already?” questioning and physical pain in dragging myself out of bed. The thing is, as soon as I get up, start washing my face and brushing my teeth, I feel fine, great even.

Today, when my alarm went off, I was so comfortable and warm, and relaxed that I decided to stay in bed for that extra hour and a half, thinking it’d be a perfect morning for a little extra shut up – screw spinning, I thought.

Flash-forward to 7:30, my new alarm time – I felt just as crappy, if not crappier. And this time, I didn’t become magically awake while washing my face and teeth. The rest of the morning goes on and I’m unable to keep my eyes open at work, I can’t concentrate and everything seems so depressive.

Thought for the day: apparently waking up ungodly hours of the morning to put your body through hell works out in the long run, so no more skipping.

This year will be a year that challenges more than my determination, dedication and persistence. It will be one that challenges my guts, guise and belief in myself. Personally, I think that’s more of a challenge than anything else but one that I’m entirely up for – mostly because I don’t have much choice.

Once January 4th hit, I was back on the work front. Controlling all aspects of my life I believe I can control – I’m on my way to figuring out the things in life that I can’t and will never be able to.
I’ll get there, completely, though. One day. And this year, will definitely be interesting. One for the books. Just watch.

If I’ve been reminded of anything these past couple of weeks it’s that life is short, and timing is everything. The coulda woulda shoulda of life has become so apparent and telling that somehow, I’ve just had to sit back and gage what my life would be like if I were a little more patient.